No, that didn't actually happen. What did happen was this: I had my shy dog Jenny upstairs in bed with me and I fed her little smelly meaty dog treats while she shivered in terror. Outside, our tenant was moving out, and burly men were carrying boxes and pieces of furniture down the driveway. I knew none of these men were going to come inside, pin Jenny down, and extract her organs, but somehow she couldn’t believe that. Every time I found myself getting frustrated at her over the top reaction to these men from whom she was completely safe, I reminded myself about my vision of the room teeming with spiders. Who am I to say what will happen? Who am I to say what is terrifying?
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| Jenny, always alert! |
Jenny barks in fear when my husband comes home. She loves him, and after her initial startle, she comes up to him to be petted. My husband sometimes gets (only so slightly) frustrated with her: she knows it’s him! She loves him! So why is she scared every time he comes through the door? I imagine what I'd feel if my loved one had a habit of coming home waving a large gun in my face. Even if I knew intellectually that he had no intention of firing it, I’d still feel deep apprehension. I think that the sound of the opening door is as scary to Jenny as the sight of a loaded gun would be to me. When I’m feeling unsympathetic to her fears, it helps me to translate them into images that are as viscerally compelling to me as her fears clearly are to her.
We continue to give her treats and reassurance when something scary happens, to teach her how to relax in the face of her fears, and to provide her with both daily and as-needed medications to aid her brain in processing her fears. Over the years, she is gradually becoming an entirely different dog. But it’s an ongoing process.
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| Jenny, learning to relax with a loved one. |
Poor Jenny! I totally relate to your post! My dog Zoe is terrified of bangs and my other dog was rescued from a house fire and she's very fearful of the smoke detector. Even if she hears one of the neighbor's smoke detectors go off and it's faint in the distance, she will still panic. I am trying to work on it but it's hard to predict random noises.
ReplyDeleteI feel for Zoe. Have you considered recording the sound of a smoke detector and playing it back for her at low volume + short time periods + with lots of good things (treats, play)?
DeleteWe fostered a puppymill rescue dog that showed similar behavior. As long as my husband was sitting down, she was fine and would climb in his lap for petting- but the minute he stood up, she would dart behind the nearest shelter and bark frantically at him.
ReplyDeleteBeen where you are. Although I cannot guarantee it will get better, I will tell you that they do start to get better. Thank goodness she has you and your husband and that you are both patient with her. My dog Daisy taught me the benefits of a quiet voice and going slow and being patient. She is nothing close to the dog I started with and every day is a blessing. You are doing good work.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Jenny is so much better than she was when I first got her five years ago. She really wants to be social with strange people and she's slowly learning to do it!
DeleteI am not one who thinks that every fearful reaction is caused by something bad that happened in the past. All my relatively well adjusted dogs panic over a miscreant smoke alarm, shaking, running around, drooling...it hurts their ears, it's startling, it's horrible. If I could get away with it, I would do all that too. But I feel for dogs and parents who have true fear reactions to every day life. Imagine how hard it is to live like that.
ReplyDeleteThe description of Jenny sounds amazingly like my dog Luna who was rescued from a hoarding situation. But the thing that is catching my attention even more is that Jenny looks exactly like my dog. Based on the photos, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. My best guess is that Luna is border collie - golden retriever. Do you know what Jenny is?
ReplyDeleteI've always assumed that Jenny is a golden retriever/border collie cross, but I don't know for sure. I'm told that her mother looked just like her, and that her father was "a brown dog." She came from a house with too many dogs in upstate New York. Where's Luna from?
ReplyDeleteLuna is from Saskatchewan Canada. She came from a hoarder who had about 20 dogs in a filthy, small penned area and none of them were spay or neutered but I didn't see pictures of many of them. Thanks for sharing your story of Jenny.
ReplyDeleteIm curious what your daily or as needed meds are.mi also have a golden lab with anxiety
ReplyDeleteJenny takes buspirone daily and trazodone as needed. For those of you with dogs with bad anxiety, it is always worth having a discussion with your veterinarian about medication. If you general practice vet is not comfortable prescribing behavior meds, find a behavior specialist at dacvb.org or a vet with a special interest in behavior at avsabonline.org. If there are none in your area, find one at dacvb.org who is williing to do remote consultations through your vet (most of them are).
DeleteOh Jenny! Our Gilda can relate. She has every symptom of a dog who was separated from her mom and/or littermates way too early.We have trouble getting *anyone* in to our house even 6.5 years later... Worst of all, she has taught our second rescue that it's how he should act when people are in the yard or house! Having a true spider phobia myself, I often think of this to help me stay patient with our poor girl. She is followed (and medicated) by a Veterinary behaviorist which helps greatly. Hang tough Jenny and know you have a friend in Gilda :) Thanks for a great article!
ReplyDeleteI hear you! Jenny sends her love to Gilda and says "look out, I think I hear an axe murderer coming up the driveway."
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